<i>David Letterman's Book of Top Ten Lists and Zesty Lo-Cal Chicken Recipes</i> <p></p>by David Letterman and the <i>Late Show with David Letterman</i> Writers <p></p>It's like watching TV -- with the added danger of paper cuts! <p></p>Top Ten Apologies to People Buying This Book: <p></p>10. Cheap glue will only hold the thing together for about six days. <p></p>9. Some kids sneaked into the printing plant and added the word &quot;ass&quot; to a lot of the lists. <p></p>8. It costs about a dime to print one of these babies -- now take a look at the retail price, sucker! <p></p>7. We're using the money we make to buy &quot;little Dutch girl&quot; outfits for Dave's poodles. <p></p>6. The book was hastily assembled overseas by jabbering foreigners who don't give a damn about you or your family. <p></p>5. A drunk maintenance guy fell into the press and parts of him appear on pages 68-87. <p></p>4. Felt safe making jokes about the Amish on TV; forgot some of them might actually see the book. <p></p>3. Dave insisted on writing some of these and we had to play along. <br />. <br />2. There is no remote control. Don't look for one. <p></p>1. The book ain't much better than the TV show. <p></p> <i>From the Hardcover edition.</i>